Elevator People

One of my very favorite authors, Laurie Notaro, once dedicated a chapter in one of her many hilarious books, aptly named, "Elevator People." (at least if my memory serves) At the point in my life when I read this, I wasn't blessed with employment in a building that bosted an elevator. It was either one story or I could take the stairs. I forget. However; these days I do enter an elevator numerous times a day to get to my office. I guess I could take the stairs, but I am lazy. I digress.... Elevator People are real! My definitions might vary from Ms. Notaro's but really, what does that matter? There are the people who had garlic pizza for lunch, or didn't take a bath, ones who insist on trying to have a conversation with you, ones who hold the doors open to talk to their friend who is in fact NOT entering the elevator too, and people who insist on standing a little too close for comfort. At the moment, I am concerned about my own elevatory behavior. It is just me, or do you try to make yourself invisible on the elevator, shrinking into the utmost back corner and holding your breath? I don't know why I do this. I think I do it so I won't breathe on anyone else or have them breathe on me. I also don't make eye contact with those who have entered before me or after me. No one else does either. It is the most uncomfortable silence for a few seconds until you reach your destination. When I push that up button or down button, I breath a sigh of relief if the doors open and it's the holy grail...an empty elevator.